hi, it's been awhile

Forgiving yourself is the hardest thing to do, but starting today I really want to change the way I think about myself. It’s really hard to be happy when you think you’re the biggest asshole on top of everything else.  In the past 18 months I have: moved across the country, started a new job, spent my first Thanksgiving and Christmas just me and Brandon, COVID, quarantine, all plans for this year cancelled, started another new job, and multiple major depressive episodes; but right now, in this moment, I feel great. I’m medicated, took an edible, and enjoyed a glass of wine, but it’s more than that. Things are really starting to come together, and it feels good. We love Michigan. We are doing so much work to our house and making it our own.  We ordered a new sofa and I am so excited that I might die before it arrives. We had plumbing work done and painted the brew room last weekend and it looks so so so good. The only downside is that now we are really anxious to finish the rest of the basement.  Any and all donations will be accepted.

Tonight Brandon is making me dinner – linguine with mussels and clams – I AM SO EXCITED!  I’m jealous because I’ve never cooked with fresh shellfish before, but I was able to sneak one last look at them before I sequestered myself upstairs. There is something nice about someone cooking for you knowing I don’t have to do anything at all.  I fucking miss restaurants.

I’m still working on perfecting my meatball recipe, which means we have had spaghetti two weeks in a row. We are going to start eating better/drinking less/being healthier in September, which means we are eating and drinking way too much right now, but I really do love it. I fucking miss restaurants.

Here are some of the things that I’ve been doing!

My best spaghetti to date, but still not just right.

Plum Torte - Special thanks to Alyssa, Smitten Kitchen, and Imperfect Foods.

My very first time eating and making chicken pot pie.

And I did a photo shoot with a moth.